18-year-old roommate talks to her girlfriend on the phone from 10 PM to 3 AM every night, keeping her roommates up all night: 'I am MISERABLE! My ears have bruises from sleeping in AirPods for the last 4 months.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 19, 2026 8:00 AM EST

She's lucky she didn't tell their RA about this during week one of living together. 

Freshman year dorm roommates are always such a gamble. Some lucky ducks are able to live with their friends or acquaintances from high school, but most of us get shoved into a bedroom with a complete stranger. It's bad enough having to share a bedroom with your sister for the first 18 years of your life, but sharing a room with a stranger is a huge risk, and there's a reason it often goes poorly. Many people were raised to have no manners. They just assume that they can steal some of your snacks without asking. Many 18-year-olds have had their moms clean their rooms for their entire childhoods and never learned how often they need to wash their sheets before living on their own. Even if your roommate knows how to function as a human being, there's a good chance that you just won't really vibe with each other. Colleges can't account for everyone's various personalities, and there's literally no way to make every single freshman happy with the person they live with. Most people just accept that their dormmate won't be their best friend and find a way to cohabitate for the year they have to live together. When I was a freshman, I spent at least 12 hours a day outside of my dorm room, if not more, and I have no regrets about being that aloof. 

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  • A woman standing in a bedroom next to a bunk bed
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The one time you can't avoid your college roommate is at night. It's pretty annoying when your roommate snores or plays dolphin noises to fall asleep. The worst is someone who stays up all night, forcing you to stay up with them. The yapper in this story has been a menace to her roommate all year.

  • Am I the bad guy for ignoring that my roommate is trying to sleep?

    So, my (18F) roommate (18F) are roommates in college. We share a room, but we have two other roommates in the back room that I'm super close friends with.
    via u/PandaPower1256
  • My roommate, let's call her M, is in a long distance relationship with her girlfriend L.
    via u/PandaPower1256
  • M is ALWAYS on the phone with her girlfriend (even though she is a senior in high school) M and L fall asleep together on the phone every night which I thought was cute and endearing at first, but is now making my nights a living nightmare.
    via u/PandaPower1256
  • M uses this higher pitched baby voice when talking to L and they talk until anywhere from 10:00 PM - 3 AM.
    via u/PandaPower1256
  • I am MISERABLE! My ears have bruises from sleeping in AirPods for the last 4 months.
    via u/PandaPower1256
  • All this to say that last night M and L were doing their typical talk (which I have brought up multiple times) and I snapped.
    via u/PandaPower1256
  • I decided that if I couldn't have a good night sleep, no one could. Her and I go to "bed" relatively early and I like to wind down around 10-11pm.
    via u/PandaPower1256
  • She has decided that if she can see light from my phone, I must still be awake and okay for her to talk as much as she'd like.
    via u/PandaPower1256
  • Last night I decided that until she finished her FaceTime call, my extremely bright lamp would stay on, even after I know she is trying to sleep.
    via u/PandaPower1256
  • A glowing light bulb in a lamp shade
    via O'Connor Spencer

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • On 2 occasions I left the room (to take trash out and refill OUR water bottles) I came back to my lamp being turned off - I immediately turned them back on and yelled to my roommates in the back that my bulb must be "going out." I then proceeded to clean my side of the room, rearrange my laundry and fill out my calendar as she tried to sleep by covering her eyes with her pillow.
    via u/PandaPower1256
  • After I finished cleaning I decided to open and eat some crackers that I knew were a bit loud, but not crazy, and watch my show on low volume.
    via u/PandaPower1256
  • - nothing too malicious, but mildly irritating - I turned the light down a single level and continued being slightly irritating.
    via u/PandaPower1256
  • She finally asked me point blank if anything was wrong and I told her that I had assumed since her phone was on it was okay to using my space how I wanted, since she does it to me every single night for the last 6 months and told her I know it sucks when you're trying to relax and something is bothering you.
    via u/PandaPower1256
  • We haven't spoken since... Am I the asshole for irritating her when I know she has an 8am class?
    via u/PandaPower1256
  • A group of people sitting around a table in front of a whiteboard
    via Kübra Arslaner (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • EDIT - I have explained to her now over 10 times in the last 3 months that this behavior is not okay and that it is disruptive to me.
    via u/PandaPower1256
  • I'm not talking about saying it in passing, but having upwards of an hour long talk about how this isn't working for me and that it's not fair of her to treat our shared space like this.
    via u/PandaPower1256
  • Neruwi I noticed you mentioned the age of your roommate's girlfriend to try to turn us against her. Seems like there's only a 1 year age difference between the two if she's a high school senior. Edit: I'm leaving this up, it still feels odd to me
    via u/Neruwi
  • PandaPower1256 Original Poster's Reply Not to turn anyone against her, but to show that she's in school for 8 hours a day and I don't know how they are still in communication
    via u/PandaPower1256
  • Damn_Dog_Inappropes Soooo many people in this thread missing the fact that you've already to her about this multiple times! You're NTA!
    via u/Damn_Dog_Inappropes
  • WhitneySeneca NTA. You said that you've brought the issue up multiple times and she's still doing it. IMO, it sounds like you've driven your point across affectively.
    via u/WhitneySeneca
  • Successful_Panic130 NTA because you tried multiple times to talk to her about this. I'm convinced all the YTAs didn't bother to read throughly.
    via u/Successful_Panic130
  • SpencerReid 1420 NTA. at one point, talking isn't enough. you gotta fight fire with fire. and that's exactly what you did. i'm proud of you OP
    via u/SpencerReid1420
  • wharleeprof ESH Roommate for having conversations until 3am in a shared sleeping space. OP for being passive aggressive instead of having a civil talk about it OP, apologize for how you handled your frustration, and then open up a conversation about establishing official quiet hours in your shared space
    via u/wharleeprof
  • HappyLifeCoffeeHelps NTA. There is no reason to keep your phone on to talk to someone while "trying to fall asleep." Is there a common area she can go to?
    via u/HappyLifeCoffeeHelps
  • PersonifiedBody NTAH you weren't responding to her "lack of awareness". After you talked to her the first time with no change, she just doesn't care. She's been expecting you to accommodate her, like who isn't aware that talking on the phone until 3am when others are trying to sleep is rude af. But now that you've made your point, have another conversation. Get the RA involved if needed
    via u/PersonifiedBody
  • Obvious-Arrival2571 NTA, it seems like you just had all you could take.
    via u/Obvious-Arrival2571
  • Several-Lobster2048 As long as you were direct when you asked her to stop previously and she's ignoring that the you are NTA. Freshman dorm roommates are a roulette wheel. Sometimes you just have to suck it up for a year and get through. Try to smooth it over and have a respectful conversation about quiet hours. I've had roommates that fucked with me in the room so I would've taken them just talking on the phone any day.
    via u/Several-Lobster2048

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annoying phone call tired dorm girlfriend argument freshman roommates sleeping college
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